Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I need to tell Brian tonight that if he ever wants to save me from being depressed and miserable he needs to not let me ever wash dishes. When I wash dishes I'm alone facing a wall with ugly florescent lights shining down on my face. My hands are in the hot soapy water and my entire body gets hot and yucky. I get soaked up to my elbows and all over the front of my shirt. I'm not careful possibly because I want to be done as fast as possible. I stand there and notice how the back wall is covered in water spots, the ledge is dusty. Everything around me is dirty - yet I am making them clean, but that has no impact on me for some reason.
As I wash and wash and wash, and pile and pile the dishes up to the bottom of the cabinets I think. There is no one to talk to, nothing nice to look at, so I just think. And my thoughts at the sink always SINK! The devil lives there. He lives right in the dishwater maybe. I start to think about how worthless I am. All of the thoughts of me not finishing school, not being smart enough to compare or live up to the standards of my brother-in-laws. How a certain person laughs at me when asking me questions about my life as if to say you just aren't good enough and the life you lead is one of a simpleton. Get back in the kitchen and do those dishes, woman. Don't join the conversation, mother, you're not smart enough. Your opinion doesn't matter. You don't take care of yourself - look at all the weight you gained when you had kids. That's because that is all you are good for. You have nothing better to do, how pathetic. You can do no better, what a pity.
I instantly become caught up thinking that everything I care about is worth nothing. The devil lives in my kitchen sink. Its probably the last place I should ever go again.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
We went to Gardner Village in West Jordan on Saturday. Gwen fell asleep on the ride up.
Naomi got her face painted. I thought she wouldn't like it. I thought I'd have to coax her into getting her cheek painted, but she wanted the full face butterfly.
Here we are standing on the bridge. Gwen liked a funny witch they had across the little pond.
Naomi decorated her own witch hat.
Gwen got to share a sprite with me, and the sharing didn't last long. The cup is as big as her! She didn't drink all that much before she got the lid off and stuck her hand in to pull out and eat the ice. She takes after me!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
To understand my post better you'll have to read my sister-in-laws most recent post. So can I just say that I've only been back online for less than a week, and I've caught up on what everyone has said over the past few weeks, and now what do I do? I need to search out more people to add to my friend list so that I have more blogs to read. At the same time I can't just read random blogs that I don't know. I just don't care. Lets face it we all care about the silly random happenings in people's lives. Its so weird! So a call out now for all those who haven't posted in a while - we need stuff to read!! Oh and if you read my blog and have a blog that isn't listed in my fave blogs that means I don't know about it - so let me know so I can read it! Thank you. Have a nice day!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
They had a whole section for kids to play. The theme was princesses so Naomi is sitting on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage. They had slides, a bouncing castle, Horse tire swings, and a kiddie corn maze that we did.
Here we are on the hay ride. It was very bumpy. The girls loved it! Ummm, so did we!
This is a giant rocking chair. Naomi HAD to sit in it! It was just so funny how adamant she was about sitting on the giant rocking chair.
This was a wooden house filled with corn. Tons of kids were just running and jumping in the corn. It was hilarious! Look at all of the corn/dirt particles floating in the air. It was a little hard to breathe.
My Martha Stewart shout out! The ghost are cheescloth and starch. I taught how to make them for an activity in church this year. Both of those have been grabbed and squashed by Gwen. They reshape pretty well! Brian thinks the bloody hands are too much, but he also doesn't like the cockroach stickers I have all over one of our doors (not pictured). He's a little whimpy about Halloween!
My most recent addition is the witch's broom on the table. I hadn't hung it yet.
Brian painted the tombstones for me last year. Also not pictured is the ragged black clothe that I switched my curtains out for.
In the kitchen above the cabinets.
Some other additions: I have a giant ghost in the window just a giant paper cut in a swooping shape with a standard ghost face on it. Also the ice cubes my mom bought for me have gummy eyeballs, maggots, spiders, worms frozen inside them. Brian thinks those are disgusting too. Tracy handled them just fine; he even ate his eyeball. Tim tried to be tough but couldn't handle the grossness - did not eat his eyeball. Naomi was lucky enough to get the maggots and loved playing with them throughout dinner.
What a fun time! I cannot wait to be the house with the crazy woman who over decorates the yard every year. I've already got a portfolio of ideas! So fun!
Naomi's party was quite a success! The biggest ordeal for me is always the worry over the cake. I've been practicing so I was hoping the castle cake would come off ok. I think that it did!
Naomi blew her candles out all by herself from quite a distance I think.
Here everyone waits to get their chance to pin the crown on the princess. We had 6 girls come and it was such a nice day. The girls were all so well behaved. Oh I almost forgot, it snowed too!
Each girl got to decorate their own jewelry box after we found the jewels on a treasure hunt. This is Naomi's.
These are all the treats the girls got to take home. Quite the stash I think. I even forgot to get them the princess lip gloss.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I'm having a little bit of a dilema! We just got this wonderful computer up and running. I've been dying without it. Complaining that I have no email, no blog, no reading other people's blogs, no quicken to check bank accounts, credit cards, pay for things. I lost my calendar and I didn't have access to my pictures in iPhoto. Life sucked! Or so I thought! Sitting down with Brian last night we realized that both of us had the best weekend that we have had in - can I say years? That sounds awful, but it might be true! As we contemplated I began to wonder if it was partly a lack of computer? I can't be sure! But the coincidence is uncanny!
So the easiest thing to report is that I just got a job. I am babysitting these two adorable children 20 hours a week! They are so sweet and cute! Marie is 2 1/2 and Yael is 18 months. The girls are having fun and its bringing a lot of needed order to our lives, plus the money. The only dilemma is that Gwen and Yael are not the best of friends. He likes to cuddle, and Gwen can't stand to have someone else cuddle me or even look at me longing to cuddle apparently. But its working ok so far. They just whine and one will flop down until its their turn to cuddle.
Its quite an interesting scenario. I have been asking Brian forever should I find some type of work? I always thought some type of data entry I could do after the kids were asleep would work best, but how do you find that? I always contemplate babysitting as an option but didn't know if it would work out. On Sunday Michaelle and I were talking because our 2 girls were doing the Primary talk and scripture (Michaelle also has an older girl who is 5, Renee). She asked if I stayed home with the girls and if I ever thought about working part time. I told her that I did and had just brought it up with my husband (again) this past weekend. So then she asked if I'd be interested in watching her kids so I just said Yes! I am amazed that it is working out so well! I'll have to get pictures of everyone playing and post them soon.
Monday, October 20, 2008
So...our computer's logicboard fried. We are now back and running! So much to cover, but I have to catch up on the bills first! Items to come: Naomi's wonderful birthday party, trip to Cornbelly's cornmaze, Halloween decorations, family pictures, oh and my new job! Yay! All to come soon! I hope anyway! Ahh, how I've missed you all!